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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Marlanda Yarber's Story, posted by Karama Sadaka

My mother met my step-father when I was about three years old.  He was the only father figure I had until I met my father, when I was about age twenty-five.  As I developed more, I started to notice an extremely uncomfortable change in my step-father.  I caught him looking at me differently, which created fear in my heart.  In my case, Mother did exactly what she had been instructed to do through numerous Watchtower publications and public talks.  When in crisis, seek counsel from the elders.  My mother went to the person she trusted most, her big brother who was also an elder.  Surely he would give her the best advice.  My mother, her husband and my uncle were all Jehovah's Witnesses.  My uncle was the presiding overseer of our congregation at the time of my abuse.  My mother was in despair.  She would come to me to me in tears, crying because she said she would tell uncle about all the things my step-father was doing.  He was abusive to both of us.  My mother told me that my uncle down-played the significance of what the her husband was doing.

This man isolated me and was allowed to stalk me in my own home, way before he got the nerve to sexually abuse me.  His actions and the inaction of my mother and uncle made me feel dirty, ashamed and abandoned.  I wanted someone, anyone to help.  I eventually told my best friend, whose mother was also a Jehovah's Witness, at the time.  She told her mother of my uncomfortable experiences with my stepfather and I lost a friend.  This monster, yet again, was able to convince another person there was nothing going on, that I was exaggerating.

The first time my step-father sexually abused me we were at the beach in the water.  He was supposed to be teaching me how to swim.  I got out of the water told my mother.  I was bewildered.  Later that night she and my step-father got into an argument and she told me he blamed the abuse on another brother that was also in the water with us.  The other brother continued to be his good friend, and no one ever confronted him.

My mother's husband became obsessed and bolder over time. His intentions could no longer be ignored, he sexually abused me for the last time in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, after I had tried to commit suicide.  The indifference my family showed to my pain, broke my heart.  I lost hope.

The paramedic saw what my mother's husband was doing under the sheets, as I laid there in disbelief, shaking my head with the oxygen mask on my face and crying.  The paramedic told the doctor, who in turn called Child Protective Services (CPS).  My mother refused to press charges, because of her love for her religion. CPS, in the small town I lived, didn't push the issue because my mother said she would keep her husband out of the home.  My Jehovah's Witness congregation's presiding overseer uncle helped my mother cover my abuse up by saying he didn't know about the paramedic, so it was my word against my step- father.  My mother didn't divorce her husband, and continued to live with him.  Many times I came home from school, my mother's husband would be at home.  I asked her why she was still with him after what he did.  She told me that she didn't have a scriptural reason for a divorce.   I would have to stay in my room, until he left for the day.  I would go into my room, curl up like a little baby and cry my eyes out because everytime she chose him, her actions said that I didn't matter and what he did to me wasn't a big deal.  He did not get disfellowshipped until he was caught cheating with another woman.

My words were dismissed and the words of the paramedic were ignored, so that the elders could justify their use of the "two-witness" policy, in order not to bring reproach on the Watchtower Society.  The Watchtower Society's "two-witness" rule requires that there be two witnesses to anyone's claim of unscriptural sexual conduct or any unscriptural conduct in the Governing Body's view, engaged in by another Jehovah's Witness.  This "two-witness" rule, required by the Watchtower Society and enforced by Jehovah's Witness elders helped to destroyed my relationship with my mother to the day she died.  This policy encourages families to numb their hearts and excuse their consciences, thereby enabling the continuing of emotional abuse and abandonment of the victims of sexual abuse/assault.

It is absolutely sickening for any organization to discourage a child's only hope and for the adults in the child's life to imprison that child with the pain of inaction and to continue enabling sick, pathetic, criminals to have free reign, with no accountability or real consequences for mutilating memories and torturing the lives of those that deserve protection the most, children.  It is grossly immoral, ungodly, unjust that my step-father was not disfellowshipped or criminally charged and punished for what he did to me.

The term "mentally-diseased apostates," with which the Governing Body has labeled everyone who's left their Watchtower Society, should be applied, starting at the very top of this or any organization that puts into place a policy such as this "two-witness" policy.  The Governing Body has put their own spin on this rule, teaching through their publications that it is something from God.  The love of an organization that encourages protecting it's reputation over doing the right thing to protect innocence is what tore my family apart.
The instructions that make up the Watchtower Society's "two-witness" rule are an abomination, especially to children.  They are WRONG!  I hope many more are compelled to openly tell their truth of the inhumane and unchristian treatment of its members by the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses......a publishing company, disguised as a religion, and behaving like a cult.

The light has gotten brighter for me.  I find comfort in knowing that I no longer am forced to keep my secret.  It's a secret which helped to perpetuate the ideas that these people have the truth and that not bringing reproach on Jehovah's name is of far greater importance than being moral and compassionate by setting an example that protects children.

NOTE:  If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness, who would like to have your case reviewed legally, concerning you or your child having been molested/raped and receiving no assistance from anyone in the Watchtower Society, you can contact William H. Bowen, the founder of silentlambs.org.  For confidential contact info, check with Admin. in "The Truth Behind Jehovah's Witnesses" group on Facebook.

If you would like to have your CHILD CUSTODY case reviewed, William H. Bowen also founded the Jehovah's Witnesses Child Custody website to provide information and assistance for former or Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses with child custody issues. 

If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness in need of counseling concerning you or your child having been molested/raped, please go to the Silent Lambs website for assistance.  http://www.silentlambs.org/assistance/index.cfm

Want to know where to find the concrete evidence against the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses?  Here's a few links to get you started:
 
Facts About Jehovah's Witnesses
http://www.jwfacts.com/

Silent Lambs
http://www.silentlambs.org/

Watchtower Documents.Com
http://www.watchtowerdocuments.com/jw-sites.html

Watchers of the Watchtower World
http://www.freeminds.org/

Advocates for Awareness of Watchtower Abuses (AAWA)
http://aawa.co/blog/how-the-watchtower-uses-undue-influence-to-enforce-its-blood-policy/

Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Online
http://ex-jw.com/

^^^ The above website includes "An Elder Shares His Honest Opinions"
http://ex-jw.com/elder-shares-honest-opinions  (THAT should be an interesting read!)