Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Sally Patterson's Story

My story will show you some things that take place "behind the scenes," that is, how I was witness to the elders' methods of dealing with those of the "anointed class" or "born again Christians" in the Watchtower Society, and the things the elders do in their attempts to force the anointed, who are not Governing Body members, not to partake at the Watchtower Society's yearly "remembrance" of The Lord's Evening Meal.  This will also give the readers some insight into the thought processes sincere seekers of bible truth go through.

It’s easy with twenty-twenty hindsight, to see the mistakes we have made in our lives.  The earliest recollection I have of searching for God was when I was about eight years old.  My father came home from work, and tossing me a book said, "Here’s a book about the saints.  I know you’re interested in that stuff."  I was being raised as a Roman Catholic, and even at such a tender age was consumed with curiosity.  The questions running through my child’s brain were, ‘How do they know who is up in heaven? What did they have to do to get there?’

I remember reading the book, the title of which is long forgotten, and learning that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was without sin.  Yes, perfect, she never lied, or disobeyed her parents.  I remember being so impressed, and feeling like such a failure, even as a child.

Approximately a week later, my father, coming home from work again, said, "You know that book I got you? Forget about it, they changed the saints."  I listened in horror. “Yes, some of the old ones have been removed and now there are new ones."  'Wait,' I thought to myself, 'how can they change who’s in heaven?' It was the first red flag.

Years later, there was an opening at the Parochial School so, in sixth grade I began to attend Catholic school for the first time.  It was a huge change, learning prayers by rote, the declaration of faith, the Catechism, questions to be answered out loud, in front of the class by heart.

Some years afterward, when I asked a question of the priest during recess, the second red flag appeared.  It was then that I knew the Catholics didn’t know the truth of the Bible.  This was the deciding factor that made me leave the church and search elsewhere for the truth.  The priest was walking about on the playground, which was in reality a paved field, and I approached him and asked my question. “So you know how we learn Adam and Eve had Cain and Abel?” I asked him.  When he answered I proceeded to say, “Then it says, he took unto him a wife, right? Well, where did the wife come from? Was there a village of other people somewhere that we didn’t know about?”  A simple enough question, that he was woefully ill- prepared to answer.  After a long discussion by him, (which didn’t address my question at all, but I listened politely), and only upon his walking away, did I come to realize that he didn’t answer my question.  I realized he didn’t know the answer, or if he did, he sure wasn’t telling!  'If the priest couldn’t answer a question about Cain, which is the very beginning of the Bible, he doesn’t know anything at all!' I thought to myself.

Sick at heart over the Catholic's evidential lack of knowledge, I left the church, but it wasn’t until years later that I found what I was searching for, and it would be decades after that before I would come to realize that I had been fooled again.

When a bible study was offered to me, I accepted nothing unless it could be proved from the Bible.  Once angry that I had been fooled, I was determined not to be fooled again.  At age eighteen, I fled from my home, and moved in with my boyfriend, who later became my husband.  It was during this time that I met Doris.  I was at a laundromat, and began eavesdropping on a conversation she was having with another woman.  Doris was the woman who ran the laundromat.  She was talking to another lady about how she wouldn’t buy a car, because this system was going to end. God was going to step in and create a new earth where peace and righteousness would dwell.    I heard her talking about God, as one who had bible-based knowledge, and I was intrigued.  I immediately questioned her about it, and she offered me a home bible study.  She asked when she should come, and I replied, “Come every day.” I was hungry! "I can’t come every day!” She replied. “Why not?” I asked.  It seemed perfectly reasonable to me.  After learning of her work schedule, I was disappointed to learn she could only come once per week.  She said I could ask her any questions and she would answer them.  I was thrilled!  Finally!  Someone who could answer my bible questions!

I started with the book of Genesis and before long, I had a list of eighty questions.  When Doris came to study with me, she presented a book to me, “The Truth that Leads to Everlasting Life," explaining how my questions would be answered by the book, however, I was adamant.  I had been fooled by the Catholic Church, but I was determined not to be fooled again.  We started with my list of questions, and I insisted the answers be shown from the Bible exclusively.  For three hours, every Tuesday, she came to teach me, and I bombarded her with my many questions.  She patiently answered them, and after several months, showed me how my questions would be answered in "The Truth Book."  Finally, after Doris finished answering all my questions, I relented, and allowed her to begin teaching me from "The Truth Book."

From the beginning of the bible study, Doris told me, “This is the organization that Jehovah God is blessing.” Who else was going door-to-door preaching the good news of the kingdom?  Who else was using the divine name?  I believed what she was teaching with my whole heart.  (So did Doris and she is still a Jehovah’s Witness to this day).  She explained that Jehovah God was our heavenly Father, and his organization was like our mother.  Everything was directed by means of the holy spirit!  I learned about the Governing Body, of spirit-anointed brothers in the worldwide headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. I also learned that all things were directed by means of prayer, and the holy spirit!  Even the elders were appointed by holy spirit, for the brothers would pray over each matter before reaching a decision.  I was so impressed!  Further I learned that we were living in the “last days of this system of things” and she showed me from Matthew, chapter twenty-four.  Therefore, it was imperative that we work hard at preaching this good news of the gospel to all the nations, for this had been foretold in the Bible.  She told me further that only Jehovah’s Witnesses were engaged in this work!

After studying for almost two years, I was finally baptized in February of 1976, at a Circuit Assembly in Monroe, New York.  Impressed by the love shown, I could see how this really was the truth.  There would be persecution, but for this was I prepared, for I had been forewarned of this by Doris.  This was a sign we were in the truth!  Matt. 10:21,22

When I told my husband what I was learning, I expected to be persecuted.  At first he was not interested. Once I was baptized however, he became the prime persecutor.  Each time I went to a meeting, I had a venomous tirade to endure when I got home.  For three hours, at the top of his lungs, he would continue screaming at me.  Not wanting to antagonize him further, I remained silent, praying the entire time.  It didn’t matter that I didn’t answer his hurled accusations.  He answered them himself and continued with his tirade. On one occasion, he screamed, “My religion is good enough for me!  It should be good enough for you!”  It didn’t matter to him that he didn’t practice his religion, Greek Russian Orthodox.  He just wanted me to go along with it.  On one particularly bad occasion, he used the back of his forearm to pin me against the wall, his arm tight against my throat, my toes skimming the surface of the floor.  I was resolute, I would not leave Jehovah.

Sadly, my husband and I moved away shortly after I was baptized.  Though the first congregation was most loving and kind, which, to me, gave evidence that they were part of the organization that Jehovah was blessing, I would soon come to question whether the members of the new congregation really were Jehovah’s people.  Doris had explained to me about the fruits of God’s holy spirit, and how His people would be demonstrating those fruits, and that this was also a sign that Jehovah’s Witnesses were indeed God’s chosen people.  I could see the difference between the ‘people in the world’ and God’s chosen people in the first congregation.  Their love for one another was self-evident, but the new congregation was severely lacking in this characteristic.

My husband and I moved from Greenwood Lake, New York to Cliffside Park, N. J. where I immediately began going out in field service from door-to-door and attending meetings, in the Ridgefield, New Jersey congregation.  I wasn’t prepared for the change in attitude in this new congregation.  The spirit in this congregation was not something I was familiar with.  I was no longer the newly baptized bible student.  I was someone who was married to someone who ‘wasn’t in the truth.’  I would learn what it was to be an ‘outsider,' that is, someone not included in their many functions such as weddings, gatherings, etc.  After all, my husband was not in the 'truth,' so I couldn’t expect that they would invite him to their homes.

My journey as an outsider began with me anxiously looking in, wanting to be part of an organization, but always being held apart.  I struggled with the door-to-door preaching work.  Shy by nature, it was difficult for me to talk to total strangers, and witness to them.  Often I would plan to go out on a certain day and  would then not go, because I would become completely sick to my stomach in fear.  Then I would be racked with feelings of guilt.  I had learned from Doris that she made it a habit to speak with Jehovah God in a conversational manner, during the day, while she was doing her chores around the house and at work.  I began to follow her example, and it became a life-long habit.  Regarding my abject fear of going door-to-door, I took it up with Jehovah God in a formal prayer.  I told Him how much I hated it, but because I love Him I would do this.  I also told Him that I would give it my best, for a period of one month.  If I still hated it this much, and continued to get physically sick over it, I would no longer go.

When I began my first month of auxiliary pioneering.  I poured out my concerns and fears to Jehovah God each day before I left my home, asking for Him to help me by means of holy spirit.  At each door I would pray for God’s holy spirit to help me to reach the heart of the person I was speaking to.  At the end of each day I would thank Jehovah God for the day I had spent doing his will, and when I found people willing to listen, I would thank Him for directing me to them.  By the end of the month, I was no longer paralyzed with fear.  I had begun working hard in the preaching and teaching work, spending my days in prayer and thanks, in preaching and in teaching.

I wanted with all my heart, to be found pleasing in the eyes of the one true God, and I knew the importance of preaching this good news of the gospel, therefore I worked at it whole-souled.  I remember vividly going to the book study one cold winter night.  The sidewalks were piled high with snow, and walking was only possible in the street.  I looked to heaven, in the dark of night, and said, "Only for you, Jehovah...I only do this for You."  I hoped He would remember me and count me as pleasing in His eyes, for I continually worked hard to be found in His good favor.

Unfortunately, I was not held in high esteem in the congregation. I found that many did not want to work with me, nor associate with me, because I was married to an unbeliever.  I remembered Doris’ words about the people being imperfect, and not looking to them, but to keep my eyes on Jehovah.  I became determined to serve Jehovah, in spite of the way I was treated.  Oh, how I missed the love shown in my first congregation!

Enduring many years of being held in contempt, being despised, being spoken about in a bad way, I just couldn’t understand how people could be worshiping Jehovah and continue acting this way.  I endured throughout those years, praying in tears often and crying out to Jehovah, "How can they treat me this way? I don’t understand. Aren’t they Your people? Why do You allow them to act this way?"  Decades later, my eyes would be opened and I would come to understand and see the bigger picture.

After a period of several years, I began to notice something new.  It seemed odd to me at the time, because it was something I had never experienced before.  Though Doris had spoken of something like it, her experience did not come to mind.  She had said, "Even though you may read a scripture a hundred times, suddenly it’s as though you’ve never read it before."  I thought, 'What?'  It made no sense to me, so I brushed it off as though she were crazy.  Now...suddenly, when reading certain passages in the Bible, it was as though the words were leaping off the page, directed to me personally.

I suspected the truth of what was happening, but it just couldn’t be!  Not me!  So, I did what any good Jehovah’s Witness would do.  I went to the elders.  Fortunately for me, an elder came to our congregation who exuded wisdom and kindness.  I asked to meet with him, and we set up a time and day, and met with one other brother in the kingdom hall.  I explained to them what was happening, though evidently not very well because they thought I was crazy and hearing voices.  I explained further.  The kind elder's advice has stayed with me all these years.  He said, "Be attentive to the leading of the holy spirit." It is my mantra to this day.

He also recommended that I study a particular book, "Life Everlasting in the Freedom of the Son’s of God," in Chapter. 5, especially page 146 under the sub-heading, 'The Witness of God’s Spirit,' page 151, (available on-line), but it was primarily the book of Romans especially Chapter 8, where God’s spirit bore witness with my spirit that I had been called forth.  Yes!  God’s words called out to me.  Though it is believed among Jehovah's Witnesses that the calling forth of ones to the heavens, that is, the anointed ones, was generally finished by 1935, there was no denying what was taking place with me.  Though I wanted to believe what I was taught, I could not refute the things taking place by means of spirit.  I made careful examination, trying to ascertain God’s will for me.

I made a careful and thorough study of the book recommended, and continued in my personal study, mostly of the Greek Scriptures, cross-referencing what I studied.  Everywhere I looked, God’s words leaped off the page, touching my heart.  It is a difficult thing to explain to someone who has never experienced this, and to those that have experienced it, no explanation is necessary.

Overwhelmed with joy and the desire to know God intimately, to ascertain what His will was for me, I carefully studied God’s word, for many hours each day.  I couldn’t get enough.  The words seemed to come to life, leaping off the page, speaking to me personally.  In time, over the course of a year, I came to know that God was indeed calling me, as one of his anointed.  At first, I found it incredible.  Me?  I was no elder, no ministerial servant, nor had I served Jehovah for forty years or more.  Who was I?  I was nobody.  I wasn’t good enough.  Surely the congregation would never accept this!  I was sorely troubled.  I began to learn that our heavenly Father sees according to the heart, and although I didn't feel worthy,  I learned that no one is worthy.  It is a free gift.  My eyes were opened and I learned that God does not judge us according to the ways of man.  That is, we need not be someone of importance, highly educated, or have a position of authority in the congregation, for God chooses according to the heart.

When I began to partake of the emblems for The Lord's Evening Meal the following year, the attitude of the congregation became manifest.  Because I was young, only twenty-six when I first partook of the emblems it was shocking to the congregation, and the comments they made betrayed what was in their hearts, that is the teachings of men and their prideful ways.

It had been the teaching of the Governing Body, for some time, and still is, as far as I know, "It stands to reason that one who is called to the heavens shall be an older person, one who has remained faithful to Jehovah for many years."  The scripture that was used to support this teaching was, “However, you are the ones who have stuck with me in my trials.” Luke 22:28 New World Translation  What seems to have escaped their notice, is that these disciples stuck by Jesus for a period of three and one half years.  Further, before 1935, all of Jehovah’s Witnesses were purported to have the heavenly calling, regardless of age.  Also, when God sent Samuel to anoint David as king, he was the youngest of his brothers.  God chooses truly according to the heart, and not the outward appearance.

By the end of the year, I began to pray to God regarding this extraordinary gift, which He held out to me saying, "Dear Jehovah, I am as nothing in the congregation, most despised.  Surely the congregation would stumble over me.  It would be far better for You to pick Brother Loving and Wise Elder, or Sister Hospitality, than me, for I am nothing.  I cannot accept this most wonderful gift."  I received His answer immediately.  "But who are you, O man, to be answering back to God?  Does the thing molded say to the molder: 'Why did you make me this way?' What?  Does not the potter have authority over the clay to make from the same lump one vessel for an honorable use, another for a dishonorable use?" Ro. 9:19-20 New World Translation  "Also, do not be grieving God’s holy spirit, with which you have been sealed for a day of releasing by ransom."  Eph. 4:30 NWT

To me, in those days, and at that time, it became apparent that the will of the shepherds (Governing Body) stood in stark contrast with the will of the Lord.  For the will of the shepherds was pronounced boldly as the Governing Body stated, "The calling forth of the anointed has ended!  It ended in 1935, therefore, it will only be older ones that the Lord our God shall call forth, and there shall be few, as they shall only be replacement for those who have fallen away." Further they said, "What!  Isn’t the paradise earth good enough for you?" Therefore, in being obedient to the Governing Body, the anointed in our congregation that year, (three of us) refused to partake, pleasing men, rather than pleasing the Lord.  The elders also said, "The answers that you are receiving in your prayers, are answers from the archenemy of all mankind, that is the devil."  So, I was led astray for a time.

Again, I began to pray to the Lord, saying, "If it is true that my prayers are being answered by the devil, how am I to be sure?  Let Your answer come, please, by means of my sister, so I may actually know your will for me, for now am I afraid to inquire, and afraid to read your word."  Then a sister, also anointed, came to me, saying that she had received a scripture, namely, "Here now, I am surprised at you, that you are so quickly being called away from him, whose word came to you in the grace of Christ, to good news of a different sort." Gal. 1:6.  It was like a slap on the face, but I was overjoyed to hear it.  Then the Lord God came to say, "I will give you insight and instruct you in the way you should go. I will give you advice with my eye upon you.  Do not become like a horse or a mule, without understanding, whose spiritedness must be controlled with a bridle or a halter, before it will come near to you.”  Ps. 32:8,9 NWT

There were many experiences I endured from those who judged and condemned me in the congregation, but the sayings of the congregation may be summed up with the words of just one, who came to say, "I will never believe Jehovah chooses a younger one.  Rather He would choose an older one, like someone who stayed faithful in the concentration camps."  For this was the teaching that was coming forth from Watchtower Society headquarters in Bethel at that time.

That God chooses according to the heart can be seen by the very words spoken, before David was anointed as king namely:  "When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.  But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1Sam. 16:6,7

David was chosen, although he was the youngest of his brothers.  From this I could see that, according to God’s word, it is not the great, nor the powerful, but the lowly that God chooses, according to the heart.  Because of this, the ones that our Lord chooses come to be greatly despised and spoken against in the congregations.  Why did I come to think some might be pleased?  Although I considered it an honor to have any of these in a congregation, sadly that was not the thinking of the majority.

So I continued on my way, in prayer, mediation, and auxiliary pioneering.  I wanted to be found pleasing in His sight, therefore I did my utmost.  However, if you are not married ‘in the faith' then are you are certainly ‘on the outside looking in’ and adding to this the fact that I began to partake of the emblems, only set me further apart from the people, in that they judged and despised me.  This was evidenced by the words coming from their own mouths, so it was nothing that I assumed.  They spoke boldly against those who partook.

Fast forward a number of years, to the last congregation to which I belonged, that was, West Milford, N.J.  In order that I might not be hauled in to see the elders immediately after the Memorial, so that the congregation might not be stumbled, I met with them before hand, to prepare them.  One elder said to me, "Surely, if Jehovah were to call someone to the heavens, it would be one of us!"  Sadly, this attitude of pride was evident among many of the shepherds and the same attitude was also prevalent among the rank and file.  Even though they did not wish it for themselves, they were certainly not pleased with those the Lord was choosing.  They came right out and said so.  This was in accord with what was being taught to the congregations, so they were judging those whom the Lord was calling.

After a period of a few years, once again was the spirit active in a large way.  Now there were three of us being led by the spirit, as it bore witness against the shepherds for their sins.  It happened day after day, and we each received many of the same scriptures, though living and studying apart from one another.  This continued from September of 1989 to May of 1990.  In September, I was forewarned, as God's spirit said to me, “I have said these things to you so that you may not be stumbled.  Men will expel you from the synagogue.  In fact, the hour is coming when everyone who kills you will think he has offered a sacred service to God.  But they will do these things because they have not come to know either the Father or me. Nevertheless, I have told you these things so that when the hour for them to happen arrives, you will remember that I told them to you." John 16:1-4 NWT

Of course, such a thing had never been heard of before, not that we knew of.  When I shared it with the two sisters who were also being led along by means of the spirit, they said, "For what? Why would you be thrown out of the congregation, you’re not sinning!"  We didn’t know what to make of it, or what would happen, but every day the spirit revealed the things taking place in the midst of the congregation by the shepherds, and every day we spoke to one another, comparing notes, astounded we were each receiving the same scriptures day after day.

It wasn’t long before we were each hauled in before the elders, for a meeting with the Judicial Committee, but what precipitated it I couldn’t say, for I really don’t know.  Sadly, due to fear, the other two sisters denied everything, for fear of being thrown out of the congregation, like Nicodemus.  The elders were hauling in friends of mine, trying to find charges to file against me, so they could throw me out of the congregation.  I know this because my friends told me.  Unable to find anything with which to charge me, the Judicial Committee filed their own false charges.

Then Jehovah said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am just a boy.’  For you must go to all those to whom I send you, and you should say everything that I command you.  Do not be afraid because of their appearance, for I am with you to save you.”  Then Jehovah stretched out his hand and touched my mouth. Jer. 1:8  He went on to say to me, “Son of man, I am sending you to the people of Israel, to rebellious nations that have rebelled against me.  They and their forefathers have transgressed against me down to this very day.  I am sending you to sons who are defiant and hardhearted, and you must say to them,  ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord Jehovah says.' As for them, whether they listen or refuse to listen, for they are a rebellious house, they will certainly know that a prophet was among them.  But you, son of man, do not be afraid of them, and do not be afraid of their words, although you are surrounded by briars and thorns and are dwelling among scorpions.  Do not be afraid of their words, and do not be terrified by their faces, for they are a rebellious house. You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or not, for they are a rebellious people.  But you, son of man, listen to what I am telling you. Do not become rebellious like this rebellious house. Open your mouth and eat what I am giving you.” Ez 2:3-8

Borne along by means of the spirit, unable to stop up the words of the Lord God, when questioned by these men, the Judicial Committee of elders, I proceeded to pronounce forth the judgments of God.  With Ezekiel 34, I proceeded to speak. Of course, they said,  "You’re judging us? You’re accusing us?"  I answered, "No! Of course not!  How would I know what’s going on?  How could I possibly know anything at all?" They stopped for a moment, confused.  Then they said, "Wait a minute, you’re saying Jehovah is saying these things?"  “Yes,” I answered.  Dumbfounded, they continued, "Do you know that this is unheard of?" I was very well aware, to my knowledge nothing like this had ever been said, or ever been heard of before, except in the bible, but the spirit of our Lord and God would not be stopped up.

So the readers can see that these men were very well aware of what was taking place, these next words are placed here.  One of the elders proceeded is ask me, "Is Jehovah with you?"  It was that evident. "Yes," I replied.  They disfellowshipped me anyway, not accepting the admonition of the Lord, nor His rebuke recorded in Ezekiel 34.  They charged me with apostasy, and said, "These words only apply to Christendom!"  They were very dogmatic.  Though I found these scriptures applied to the organization in previous issues of the Society's Watchtower. (bound volumes)  However, by that time their judgment was pronounced.  It was said and done, and the orders came from higher up, from the Governing Body, so there was no reason to try to have the order changed.  I had been led along by spirit, as it was revealed that this would cause my humiliation.  I refrained from questioning the judgment, taking instead the condemnation. Later, I learned that one of the other sisters was offered a ‘shepherding call,’ which she refused.  They insisted, saying that they only wanted to encourage her.  Foolishly she met with them, and they proceeded to threatened her, saying, "If you breathe one word of this, we will disfellowship you too."

She was, and remains, near and dear to my heart, but sadly, because of the fear of men, she refused to be my friend, even after I was reinstated, afraid they would come after her.  To this day, I have not been able to find her, nor speak with her, and this breaks my heart.

I was devastated, heartbroken, of course, for I thought the Lord would be with me, to rescue me from the judgments of men.  Sadly, this did not turn out to be the case, but the forewarning did come true, and did take place.  I can’t help but wonder what they thought of it, for surely they must have recalled the warnings spoken through His word.

The next two years are too difficult to relate. I was in tears, still trapped in the thinking that this was the organization that God was blessing. I kept asking, “How could Jehovah let this happen to me?”  The agony and the pain was too much to bear, and I attempted suicide.  Apparently, I didn’t take enough prescription medications to do the job, therefore my family was there for me, helping me to ‘walk it off,’ by keeping me awake, and plying me with loads of water.  This would not be the last time I would attempt suicide.

Two years went by, I continued in prayers, and tears and lack of understanding.  After this period of time, I told Jehovah that it was too much for me to bear, and I could not stand being alone, rather I wished to be part of the people.  I believed it was better to stand in God’s judgment than man’s, for God is loving and merciful, and man is not, so I sought to be reinstated, caring more for my ‘good name’ or my ‘good reputation’.  I told them that I would never again speak God’s words to them, and I meant it!  It was indeed far too difficult to bear.

Now during the time I was disfellowshipped, I began attending meetings at another congregation, some 45 minutes away, in Hackensack.  They were more loving and kind, and so I attended there.  When I sought to be reinstated, the Hackensack elders met with the West Milford elders to bring this about.  For four weeks, the West Milford elders found excuses, one after the other, always being ‘on vacation.'  The elders in Hackensack became so provoked for my case, they were ready to go to Bethel on my behalf.  I know this, because an elder told me so.  He was irate over this whole issue.  The elders in West Milford tried to ‘lay down the law’ so to speak, insisting I attend meetings in their congregation, because I lived in their territory.  I was no fool.  I knew it was so they could threaten me to remain silent, or be thrown out again.  Therefore, I insisted on remaining in Hackensack, explaining how that was always ‘home’ for me, because they were so loving and kind.  This was accepted by the elders in Hackensack, and I was reinstated.  The West Milford congregation was so determined that no one come to know of it, that it was announced at the book study, which is a meeting of small groups in the congregation on a weekly basis, held as separate meetings in someone’s home.

Once reinstated, my eyes were opened more so, and I came to hear and see all manner of ungodly things taking place in the midst of the congregations.  The hypocrisy came to be too much for me to bear, so I had to leave.  Many things were said and done, that bore testimony against them, that they served men, rather than God.

One sister said to me, "I know that if I pioneer, I will get a better room at Bethel."  I thought to myself, 'Really? That’s why you pioneer? Where is your love of God?'  Another one said, "I know if I pioneer, Jehovah will provide me a husband."

I think the saddest thing of all to hear was what one sister said, regarding my being disfellowshipped, "Good she was disfellowshipped! We never liked her anyway!"  I was stricken, thinking to myself, 'Really? That’s how you feel? Don’t you know, being disfellowshipped is a fate worse than death?" And you would wish death upon someone who serves Jehovah, because you don’t like them? How cruel and uncaring!'

My former friends wanted no part of me.  Everyone turned away.  Most refused to speak with me, even though I was reinstated because, while God may forgive, many Jehovah's Witnesses do not.  They judge without mercy.  Even though a person may not be guilty of wrongdoing, with the decision of the elders behind closed doors, all must judge and condemn, without knowing the reason for it.  This is not scriptural.

In a short time after I was reinstated, I began to truly see the hearts of the sons of mankind, as evidenced by the words coming forth from their mouths.  I became heartsick over all these things, and the judgments by the people and their lack of mercy and forgiveness.

Again, the words of the Lord spoke to me, saying, "I know your deeds, and your labor and endurance, and that you cannot tolerate bad men, and that you put to the test those who say they are apostles, but they are not, and you found them to be liars. You are also showing endurance, and you have persevered for the sake of my name and have not grown weary." Rev 2: 1-3

In this manner, I lost some close and dear friends, never to be accepted by them again.  This is not surprising, because this is how the organization strives to keep all things hidden, and it has remained this way all these years.  Now that I have been out for twenty-two years, I am grateful for the saving grace of the Lord, having been led and taught by means of it.  I now have the freedom of a child of God, as everyone, who is led along by the spirit of our God, are led along to freedom.

Now that the hidden things are beginning to come to light, I pray that God reveal all the hidden things taking place in the Watchtower Society, that the honest-hearted ones might come to have their eyes opened, that they may come out of her, as Revelation says, "Come out of her, my people,' so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not receive any of her plagues." Rev. 18:4

Note from Noel Parsons:  I've been out for the same period of time, for similar reasons, though I wrote the Governing Body those judgments in a letter....with the result that I was disfellowshipped, too.  The (allegedly) spirit-anointed Governing Body doesn't want any competition, which is why those who dare to claim  being born again or having been anointed are disparaged and ostracized in the congregations, especially the women.

NOTE:  If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness, who would like to have your case reviewed legally, concerning you or your child having been molested/raped and receiving no assistance from anyone in the Watchtower Society, you can contact William H. Bowen, the founder of  For confidential contact info, check with Admin. in "The Truth Behind Jehovah's Witnesses" group on Facebook.

If you would like to have your CHILD CUSTODY case reviewed, William H. Bowen also founded the Jehovah's Witnesses Child Custody website to provide information and assistance for former or Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses with child custody issues. 

If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness in need of counseling concerning you or your child having been molested/raped, please go to the Silent Lambs website for assistance.

Want to know where to find the concrete evidence against the Governing Body of the Watchtower Society of Jehovah's Witnesses?  Here's a few links to get you started:
Facts About Jehovah's Witnesses

Silent Lambs

Watchtower Documents.Com

Watchers of the Watchtower World

Advocates for Awareness of Watchtower Abuses (AAWA)

Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Online

^^^ The above website includes "An Elder Shares His Honest Opinions"  (THAT should be an interesting read!)