My parents had grown up Jehovah's Witnesses. My grandparents had become members of the Watchtower Society at early ages, respectively. So, I suppose that made me third generation. There was always something different about me, however. There was definitely something different about my appearance. My brother had dark hair and eyes, like my parents. Everyone in my family had brown eyes. I was the only blue-eyed child. I used to ask my mother if I was adopted. I desperately wanted to be adopted. She would just backhand me and tell me to shut up. Ah, the memories of corporal punishment.
One of my earliest memories is of going out behind the Kingdom Hall and picking a switch. Once I corrected a "brother" on stage, who was giving a talk. Boy, did I get it that time! The time I got it the worst, though, was when I tried to tell my dad that my Uncle was touching me.
He'd been doing it for two years by then. I had tried to tell my mother, but she denied it would ever happen to her daughter, probably because it would mean she had failed as a parent. I remember wondering why Jehovah would harden her heart like he hardened Pharaoh's heart in the dramas we listened to. There must be something wrong with me. Both my parents accused me lying, and they still do, to this day.
I was 18 when I married my first husband. He immediately began hitting me, throwing me against walls and choking me. The elders told me to basically "put up or shut up." We had a son. My doubts about Jehovah being even remotely involved with this "loving" organization were strengthening. When my husband beat me so badly, I was put in the hospital, I left. The elders disfellowshipped me. I had my daughter, who is the light of my life, out of wedlock, and I never looked back.
My son lives with his father, however. He refuses to talk to me or see me because he's been indoctrinated by the Jehovah's Witness mentality. To him, I am evil. I am a "mentally-diseased apostate." I love my son. To my dying breath, I will love him. But this madness needs to stop.
NOTE: If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness, who would like to have your case reviewed legally, concerning you or your child having been molested/raped and receiving no assistance from anyone in the Watchtower Society, you can contact William H. Bowen, the founder of silentlambs.org. For confidential contact info, check with Admin. in "The Truth Behind Jehovah's Witnesses" group on Facebook.