The first thing that began to open my eyes happened when I was twenty-one years old. My oldest brother, who had been a Ministerial Servant, was disfellowshipped and I was supposed to shun him. My father died in the middle of all this and I wasn't even supposed to speak to my disfellowshipped brother at my father's funeral. He wasn't even allowed to sit in our family's row at the funeral service, which was not held at a Kingdom Hall, because my father was not a Jehovah's Witness.
Afterward, everyone came to our house and I sat outside talking to my brother and trying to tell him I still loved him. His ex-wife, a Pioneer working full time in the house-to-house ministry, was in the house and told my middle older brother, who is an elder, to go outside and tell our disfellowshipped brother that he had to leave. My brother, the elder, actually did it and I was in shock. I thought to myself, 'Shit!' Our father had just been BURIED and our brother was not welcome in the house we grew up in??
Then, when I was age twenty-five, I started dating a 'worldly' (non-Jehovah's Witness) man. There were literally no men even close to my age in our congregation and the closest nearby congregation was 95 miles away! Not much chance for dating! Our wedding, disapproved by the Watchtower Society, was about five months away when I was finally made to face my last Judicial Committee in the infamous "back room" of the Kingdom Hall, where all Judicial Committee matters are given attention and resolved according to Watchtower Society guidelines.
My brother, the elder, was actually one of the men there and he definitely was NOT on my side! They read scripture after scripture while I cried. They said they'd let me know their decision soon.
Our presiding overseer said he would walk me out to my pickup since I was so upset. Once we got to the parking lot, he said,
"You're going to be disfellowshipped, you know that don't you?"
I told him that one of the pioneers in our hall had also married someone not in "the truth" and that it was not a disfellowshipping offense. His response?
"Well, in MY CONGREGATION, it is and I will see to it that it happens."
I was speechless. I drove out on a back road, deciding I would just drive off the top of the mountain behind our town. I felt I had nothing to live for and I would lose everything and everyone I had ever known if they disfellowshipped me.
Believe it or not, I had a strange experience when I reached the top. This happened literally in the middle of nowhere on a dirt road. There was an older woman in a Mercedes Benz with a flat tire. I stopped, of course, and changed her tire for her. She offered to pay me and I told her, "No," and that I was just happy to be able to keep her from being stranded in the middle of nowhere. She looked out her window and exclaimed,
"What would the world be without people like you in it?!?"
In that moment, I realized she was right and there was nothing wrong with ME. It was the men we call "brothers" who were phucked up! I went home and told my mother what had happened. She immediately wrote a letter to the Governing Body, who actually wrote to our Body of Elders and said they could NOT disfellowship me!
So, I got my satisfaction. But, I never set foot in a kingdom hall again after that Judicial meeting. I just couldn't believe in something, when all the rules I'd been raised with were a lie and they could be re-interpreted by men. I realized they were just a bunch of guys in suits making shit up as they went along and it totally opened my eyes.
NOTE: If you are a former or Ex-Jehovah's Witness, who would like to have your case reviewed legally, concerning you or your child having been molested/raped and receiving no assistance from anyone in the Watchtower Society, you can contact William H. Bowen, the founder of silentlambs.org. For confidential contact info, check with Admin. in "The Truth Behind Jehovah's Witnesses" group on Facebook.