Not only that, but my mother was a complete narcissist, with a mental delay of some type that she would never admit to, but everyone else could see in her. And believe me, it is very difficult for a child to have a parent that is so "different," while still expected to take so much physical and emotional abuse from them and defend them. It is not easy when everyone asks you what is wrong with your mother. I could never tell anyone how violent our home life was, because I was told it would give Jehovah and his people a bad name.
As I reached adulthood, I was desperate to get away from this insane, hateful family life, but I was very deeply entrenched in Watchtower Society teachings and doctrines and was sincere in my love for Jehovah. While growing up, I really had no doubts about it whatsoever. Once I had my children, I wanted them to have a normal life. I thought that could include being Jehovah's Witnesses, but it became more and more clear that this "normal life," a childhood better than mine, could not exist in that environment.
That is really all I want to say. I have too many negative memories to go through and would begin dwelling on it again, and I just want to leave it behind. I can tell you, though, that the people labeled as "apostates" by Jehovah's Witnesses are not bad, as they are portrayed by the Watchtower Society. Some of us just don't believe in a religion any longer. Learning the truth about the Watchtower Society cured us of that. We haven't hurt anyone, and in fact, we were usually very hurt by Jehovah's Witnesses.